I’m sure you’ve all been here before. After staying back to work the career propelling half hour after 5pm, you walk satisfied out to the car park knowing the boss has noted your commitment and hop into your car for the <insert length here> drive home, only to be greeted with the horrible realisation that you’ve done it again, you’ve left in time to catch Hack.

For those of you who don’t subscribe to afternoon radio, or prefer the mostly mind-numbing though frequently hilarious antics of Hamish and Andy on your drive home, Hack is triple j’s daily “current affairs” program. The concept is simple, each afternoon at 5:30 the current affairs affecting you, the youth of Australia are presented and discussed, and you leave at the end of the show more knowledgeable and worldly then before.. Right? WRONG!!

The Hack team are quite obviously a bunch of uneducated over opinionated idiots (unlike myself, who is quite educated and opinionated, not to mention particularly handsome) who regularly forgo the chance to present a balanced and educated perspective on cutting edge and controversial issues; instead taking it upon themselves to share with their audience a range of moronic left wing opinions you could only expect from the alternate, Vegetarian, Greens voting, washed up arts / communications students idiots who present the show (and I assume make up most of their avid listeners).

For safety reasons I think every instalment should come with a disclaimer, similar to the immortal lines uttered by the Principal at the end the academic decathlon in Billy Madison :

“Mr. Madison, what you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.”

No points for you indeed triple j’s hack…