Archive for category Rants & Reviews
Hack – Putting the Mediocrity in Journalism.
Posted by Mr. Pewterschmidt in Rants & Reviews on 26 October 2009
I’m sure you’ve all been here before. After staying back to work the career propelling half hour after 5pm, you walk satisfied out to the car park knowing the boss has noted your commitment and hop into your car for the <insert length here> drive home, only to be greeted with the horrible realisation that you’ve done it again, you’ve left in time to catch Hack.
For those of you who don’t subscribe to afternoon radio, or prefer the mostly mind-numbing though frequently hilarious antics of Hamish and Andy on your drive home, Hack is triple j’s daily “current affairs” program. The concept is simple, each afternoon at 5:30 the current affairs affecting you, the youth of Australia are presented and discussed, and you leave at the end of the show more knowledgeable and worldly then before.. Right? WRONG!!
The Hack team are quite obviously a bunch of uneducated over opinionated idiots (unlike myself, who is quite educated and opinionated, not to mention particularly handsome) who regularly forgo the chance to present a balanced and educated perspective on cutting edge and controversial issues; instead taking it upon themselves to share with their audience a range of moronic left wing opinions you could only expect from the alternate, Vegetarian, Greens voting, washed up arts / communications students idiots who present the show (and I assume make up most of their avid listeners).
For safety reasons I think every instalment should come with a disclaimer, similar to the immortal lines uttered by the Principal at the end the academic decathlon in Billy Madison :
“Mr. Madison, what you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.”
No points for you indeed triple j’s hack…
Brew Review – Gage Roads Premium Lager
Posted by jeb in Rants & Reviews on 13 October 2009
Gage Roads Premium Lager
I picked up a six pack of Gage Roads Premium Lager this week at the local Woolies for around $15. This is a craft breweries attempt at a mass market beer and it does hit its mark, albeit only when on special. Woolworths has recently purchased a stake in Gage Roads so we may see more of their brews in Woolies at decent prices. You could take the stance that this is big corporations buying up and ruining craft breweries but I prefer to see it as an opportunity for good value, high quality beer to be in my belly.
The beer is, in essence relatively boring; however it is a clean, easy to drink lager. It has a balanced flavour with a little bit of hops, a little bit of maltiness and not enough of either to offend anyone, or alternatively get them too excited. I didn’t get any of the “spicy, lemony hop flavour” proclaimed on the web site but there is definitely a sweet, pleasant maltiness balanced by just the right amount of hops. You may as well drink it out of the bottle as it has a thin head and looks generally disappointing poured.
The beer’s easy drinking qualities make for a good session beer and there is a pleasant, non-offensive aftertaste which is very important if you plan on drinking more than 3 or 4 of anything. Despite the above painting a picture of a boring beer sometimes that is exactly what is required. If you go into the bottle shop with a friend and they go to pick up some extra dry or similar mixture of carbonated glass shards that costs about $15, slap them and grab some of this instead. It is at most going to set you back an extra dollar or two and is a pleasant experience that most beer drinkers will enjoy.
7/10
4.7% alcohol
www.gageroads.com.au
Which Kevin Costner is the greatest?
Posted by Drew in Rants & Reviews on 11 October 2009
Life presents us with a series of questions to which each man must find his own answers; Why am I here? Is there a God? What’s that funny smell in my belly button?
Staking our claim for a place in the history books, yehbro.com now intend to put to rest, with a poll, one of the most troublesome questions of recent history. The answer of which has eluded mankind for the past 18 years.
Who is the greater man? – Dances with Wolves Kevin Costner or Prince of Thieves Kevin Costner?
First things first, let’s set down some criteria on which to base our decision. Martin Luther King Jr once wrote that “The Ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.” That’s great… but we’re going to measure them on how much ass they kick.
If Dances with Wolves Kevin Costner was put face to face with Prince of Thieves Kevin Costner in a battle to the death who would triumph? Which alter ego would slay the ghosts of Waterworld and rise as the most powerful incarnation of Kevin Costner of all time.
Lt John Dunbar
Profile – Lt John Dunbar
Having been sent to a remote outpost in the wilderness of the Dakota territory during the American Civil War, Lieutenant John Dunbar encounters, and is eventually accepted into, the local Sioux tribe. He is known as “Dances with Wolves” to them and as time passes he becomes enamoured by the beautiful “Stands With a Fist”. Not soon after, the frontier becomes the frontier no more, and as the army advances on the plains, John must make a decision that will not only affect him, but also the lives of the natives he now calls his people. (Source IMDB)
Skills: Shooting, Horseback riding, Communication, Leadership
Equipment: Rifle, Tomahawk
Special abilities: Establishing relationships along non-standard means of communication, Beastmaster – ability to befriend animals
Wingmen: Kicking Bird, Wind in His Hair, Ten Bears (and the rest of the Sioux)
Robin of Locksley
Profile – Robin of Locksley
After escaping from a Dungeon after being captured by the Turks during the crusades, Robin, son of Lord Locksley and a warrior Moor named Azeem return to England only to find Robin’s father has been murdered by the corrupt Sheriff of Nottingham and has taken over his Father’s lands. Unable to be helped by Maid Marian Dubois, sister of Robin’s friend Peter who died trying to help Robin and Azeem escape. Robin vows to avenge his father and flees to the Forest of Sherwood, home to a band of outlaws who have been banished from their villages by the Sheriff of Notingham. Combining the forces of the outlaws, Robin and his merry men set out on a crusade against the Sheriff of Nottingham and defeat the Sheriff of Nottingham and his henchmen who bids to take over the throne of England’s rightful ruler King Richard and put a end to the corruption that has infested the English countryside. (Source IMDB)
Skills: Archery, Swordplay, Leadership, Horseback riding, Disguises
Equipment: English longbow, Crossbow, The sword of Locksley, The sherrif’s dagger
Special abilities: Hiding in forests, Primative guerrila warfare, Surprise attacks
Wingmen: Azeem (Morgan Freeman) – his vow has been fulfilled, however it is likely they remain allies, King Richard the Lionheart (Sean Connery), The Merry Men (Little John, Will Scarlet & co)
There you have it folks, cast your vote. Is the modern weaponry of Dances with Wolves Kevin Costner enough to earn him victory? Or do the elements of surprise and the unrelenting power of Morgan Freeman and Sean Connery combine to make Prince of Thieves Kevin Costner indefeasible ?
Loading ...Over-Fed. The douchebag formerly known as K-Fed
Posted by dmountford in Rants & Reviews on 8 October 2009
How did it happen? If you follow any of the numerous trashy gossip websites (e.g. www.news.com.au), you will probably have noticed that Kevin Federline, or K-Fed as he’s known on the streets, has put on a few kilos. Now I’m not normally one to recklessly judge others (haha, I can’t even type that with a straight face) but in the case of K-Fed, I’m prepared to let loose.
Looking mantastic in February 2006
Why you ask? Firstly, let’s take a brief look at his bio.
Kevin Earl Federline was born March 21, 1978. His parents divorced when he was 8 and he dropped out of high school in the ninth grade. He then joined a non-profit dance organisation called “Dance Empowerment”.
So far so good, right? It has already become blindingly obvious that he’s destined for the big time.
A few years later he meets actress Shar Jackson (of Moesha “fame”) and knocks her up twice. Before the 2nd child was even born, K-Fed had gotten engaged to pop singer Britney Spears.
That sneaky f*ck! I mean Britney has had her ups and down, but c’mon! At her best, every pimple faced teenager was engaging in battle with his purple-headed yogurt slinger whilst perusing pictures of her on the internet.
Britney opened all the doors for this well-educated and entrepreneurial young man.
On October 31, 2006 he released his critically acclaimed debut rap album titled Playing With Fire *cough*. The following is an excerpt of the tight lyrics from the single Lose Yourself:
I ain’t here to brag I’m just here to pop tags My ferrari cost more than your lil S-class Look man I’m in a whole ‘nother tax bracket It don’t matter what you blow, boy you can’t match itCall me old fashioned, but it seems a tad contradictory. In my day that would be considered text-book bragging.
While with Britney, Kevin also:
- was signed to a modeling company
- appeared on reality television show Britney & Kevin: Chaotic
- got a regular spot on television series One Tree Hill
- appeared in a few WWE programs
Hitting rock bottom in September 2009 *shudders*
By mid 2007 the couple had finalised their divorce and in mid 2008 K-Fed was granted sole custody of the children. At this point Spears was ordered to pay him $20,000 per month in child support, as well as additional funds to cover legal expenses.
What the f*ck! $20,000 a month? Surely some of that money could help cover a personal trainer. Or liposuction.
One thing that the show Entourage has taught me is that fame and fortune is to be enjoyed, but it seems that K-Fed is taking it a little too literally. Personal appearance should come into it *somewhere*.
On the plus side for K-Fed, he still seems to be pulling hot chicks and is a good parent to his 4 children (that we know of).
Perhaps I’m just jealous? Now I’m off to buy some cheeseburgers.
Note: Apologies in advance if this is a rare case of a late-set glandular disorder…
Mighty Angus – Mighty Awesome or Mighty Awful?
Posted by Savage in Rants & Reviews on 2 October 2009
Mighty Angus
Ronald has never been the one to shy away from trying his hand at something a little bit different.
In its early days, the Big Mac was unlike any other. The burger’s special sauce and three piece bun was pushing the boundaries in all the right directions. In more recent times Ron’s flirtations with the menu haven’t always followed the same path of glory. His foray into fish and chips was definitely out-side the box and altogether uninspiring. However, it was his disastrous attempt at a German themed pork burger, the ‘BurgerMeister’, that gave people reason to think that the red-haired clown had started to lose his Midas touch.
In an unashamed attempt to ride off the back of MasterChef’s success and the Australian public’s growing interest in gourmet food, Ron has had another dalliance with his al la carte menu, promoting the latest creation as something ‘a little bit fancy’. Today I wrap my lips around a Mighty Angus burger to decide whether it should join shaker fries in the hall of fame or fall straight into the bin with the easily forgotten McPrawn cutlets.
The first thing that hits you about the Mighty Angus is its sheer meatiness. If meatiness was measured on the scale of Richter, this burger would be off it. Whilst I’m not entirely convinced that this burger patty is substantially different to a quarter pounder patty it does appear to be slightly thicker. Cheese, bacon and onion are all well proven accompaniments for big, fat pieces of meat and this simple fact has not been lost on the creative geniuses behind the Mighty Angus burger. The mayonnaise is satisfactory and the relish, whilst no where near as good as my Nanna’s, did leave me wanting more. Perhaps the only thing letting the burger down was the sourdough roll… which was not so much sourdough as a poor imitation dusted with flour.
Overall the Mighty Angus is a win for McDonald’s. After enduring the weak offerings of new tastes menu for several years it’s great to see them getting back to their roots, keeping it simple and delicious.
4 ½ stars
